Elf Esteem

“So why haven’t you found another playmate? You’re a fair lass! You’ve got hair the color o’ roses, a bounteous bosom and plentiful posterior, and you have freckles enough for three leopards.”

I groaned and shook my head. I definitely didn’t need those last few attributes highlighted, and my hair color came out of a bottle.

“I’ll never find anyone like Paula. What we had was special. You wouldn’t understand.”

“I’m smart,” she said. “Probably the smartest fairy around here. Sharp enough to figure out yon computer. I’ll wager I ken.”

“In a small town like this, it’s hard enough finding another dyke, much less one I can connect with like I did with her. Add to that…”

“That you like getting tied up?”

I scowled.

“I’ve seen you watch porn, and I know what you have in the box under the bed. I know what you like.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“You’re angry at me.”

“Yes! Of course I’m angry at you! You broke into my house! Invaded my privacy! I think I have a right to be angry.”

“Maybe I could help you relax?” She cocked her head to one side and gave me a sexy smile.

I laughed.

“You? You want to top me? Kiddo, I’m twenty-two stone. If I sat on you, I’d probably squash you flat.”

“I’m not a kid. I’m a hundred and eighty years old. And I’m stronger than I look.”

“I guess you’d have to be to get a beer out of the pantry. But being a top is about more than just what you see in porn. There’s a relationship there. Trust. A common sense of purpose. How can I trust you?” I couldn’t believe I was having this conversation with a fairy.

“You mortals. Always so afraid. And you think we’re silly. Why not just try it and see? What have you got to lose?”